Want results? Do this

For a long time in my life I lived in the results trap. I wanted results and I wanted great results. So I worked hard to get them and soon enough I got some, eventually looking at a $20m revenue/year business. Weird, where’s the problem? The problem was twofold. First despite getting results I was miserable every time I didn’t get what I wanted. And I was elated when I did get what I wanted. And so I was on the rollercoaster, up and down I went, good day, bad day, high revenue day, low revenue day, good press, no press. And so forth. It was exhausting, to a point where I eventually called it quits and lived in a monastery for almost 2 years! Most people don’t want to do that to learn this lesson. And luckily, they don’t have to. 

The second problem, my results were good to most people, some even great, but the truth is, they weren’t really meeting my standards. I slaved away at getting them every day, and mostly I was disappointed. I hadn’t yet learned that great results wasn’t really what I wanted. 

The shift 

Then something happened. I learned a few things from great mentors, monks, therapists and coaches and they gave me a whole new lens. Let’s call it “the reverse pyramid of great results“. This is what they taught me:

• Want great results? Take great action 
• Want great action? Speak great words
• Want to speak great words? Think great thoughts 
• Want great thoughts? Feel good in your body 
• Want to feel good in your body? Cultivate goodness in your body and mind and environment to make space and clear out the old stuff you no longer need; practice love, peace and compassion regularly 

Sounds touchy-feely to you? Maybe, and if your current system is working for you, great. But if it isn’t, read on and see if you want to give it a shot. I’m telling you that this is by far the most powerful system I got. 

This hierarchy is now my go to model for me to help me live the life I want and I believe it is deeply transformative.

Flipping it around 

Now the hardest transition for me, where I ran into most fears and old belief systems was to change things around. To care about things from the bottom up, starting with my body and mind and only ending with results. In that hierarchy. That was hard, but for the long term happiness and wellbeing I believe this is essential. Once you figure that out, and I don’t know what that takes for you, only then do I suggest to dive into the things below. Otherwise things will always be lopsided.

Working all layers of the pyramid

Let’s go through each layer of the pyramid. Before we do that, I want to say that for me, to truly live the life I want, working each layer has been important. This may not be true for you, but I’ve encountered plenty of people that are experts at one of these but struggle at the rest. And their lives never manifest in the way they truly want. That’s a shame and a pity. We can do better than that. There’s more potential in each of us. 

Working your body and mind 

Most people in tech underestimate this who I primarily work with. More are coming around to it, which is great. I believe it’s vital. We want to take care of our emotions and inner world. This is in fact I believe maybe the biggest aspect when it comes to our quality of life. If you truly want long term, powerful results don’t neglect this and think you’re above it. Here’re some ways:

1. Meditation (preferrably in groups)
2. Men’s / women’s circles  
3. Hire a therapist
4. Take regular walks in nature 
5. Receive regular massages or do other body work (Hakomi method, Greenberg method, Reiki)
6. Warm water spas
7. Workouts 
8. Seeing friends regularly

You know this stuff, it’s not new, but it’s integral. Make a habit of the one or two things that resonates the most with you in that arena and make it a priority. Block it out in your calendar and call it “board meeting”, whatever it takes. 

Working your thinking & working your language 

I’m grouping the two since the work on both is very similar in my experience. 
Most of us want to change our thinking. The best way to do that that I’ve learned is to study the modality called Nonviolent Communication as developed by Marshall Rosenberg. I know you don’t like the name, I didn’t either, I hear that all the time, but get over it, this book is life changing, truly. 

We can also do this work with a talk therapist or a coach. Most are very skilled at pointing out our thinking patterns as they come out of our mouths. And we need that. Our language creates our reality to a large extent. We want to be conscious of the words we use, the difference that makes is astounding:

The single most powerful technique I know on top of this is this:

• Replace every “should”, “need”, “have to” with “want” in your thinking, writing, emails, talking. Do that alone and you will see your life change, you will run into fears faster than you can blink and they will point you beautiful to how you come alive in life and where your energy is drained because you are “shoulding” and “needing”.
• Make a “want to do” list 

Working your actions 

This is where the common “do one thing every day that scares you” comes in. It’s exposure therapy basically. You want to do things that scare you and ease your way into them. 

Take one of those “30 days crush your fears challenges” for example to get into it. (Although I’m generally against “crushing fears”) 

Things I’ve enjoyed:

• Cold water plunges (very scary for me!)
• Plainly doing the action that is most impactful for your business but important: 
  • Sending emails to connect with the people I admire the most 
  • Writing x amount of articles 

Working your results 

Now it gets tricky one more time. You want to learn how to care LEAST about results from this list. Otherwise it won’t work and you’ll eventually skip some of the above steps. 

Once you are there, then we go and measure. And we measure hard. Be brutally honest with yourself. Look the results in the face and see “Is this what I want?”. This will be easy if you’re not that invested into the results but are invested in everything else that did or didn’t lead to them. Which actions need to change? What parts of your language are still communicating fear and lack of your power and are holding you back? How have you cared for your body and mind the last few weeks?.

Go looking, be honest. Make changes. And rinse and repeat, and I’m convinced your life will change for the better. Dramatically, exponentially in fact. 

That’s it, good luck!