The people that think you’re an asshole

“The people that think you’re an asshole, they already think that about you now, Leo! You might as well do what you want anyway.” This Is what my friend Ed told me when I shared with him my fears about telling some grueling stories in my upcoming book. And what people might think about me when they read it and what I’ve done so far in my life. Strangely that was a huge relief.

On the other hand, if they don’t think so negatively about me as I’d projected when they find out about another “outing”, it’ll probably bring us closer together. In a way, it’s a win-win.

Radical honesty is a bitch, I’m learning. It hurts so bad at times but also frees me so much.

I’ve since mentioned this phrase of his several times with friends and in coaching sessions in various ways: those people that you think don’t like you, they already don’t like you now. Whether you do the thing or not.

What this leads to is courage. Courage is the thing we find when we give up on needing to be liked. Even for a brief moment. Then we are free to do what we want to do because we want to do it. This is real freedom.

It’s crushing and disappointing that we can’t stay there in that state of freedom. That we retreat again after a while into the darkness and the need to be liked and wanted. That’s ok, that’s life. From there, we garner and ripen the courage yet again to go out there and not care for what others think of us.

Along the way, we might make some friends that encourage us in this process and that back and forth. But it’s really not necessary to be too harsh on ourselves when we realize none of these states are permanent.

“Cheer up! You can’t blame anyone else for the kind of world that you’re in. And if you know that “I”, in the sense of the person, the front, the ego, it really doesn’t exist. Then it won’t go to your head to badly if you wake up and discover that you’re god.” is what Alan watts said, which I feel belongs here.

So go out there. And don’t worry about the people you fear think of you as an asshole, they already do that now anyway. You might as well take my friend Ed’s advice and do your thing regardless. Good luck and I’m here if I can help.